To read part four of day nine, click here.

We kept hiking, because there was nothing else to do. We all knew that we were going to have to have a night hike, but I could only go so fast. I was definitely the weak link in the chain – the whole crew was only as strong as I was.

The hours blended together. I lost track of how many breaks I had to take, how many times I had to stop so I would be able to keep going. In a way, I wish I could remember it. But then again, I don’t really want to remember how much I slowed everyone down. I haven’t really written about that yet, but it was definitely a big part of my trip.

My whole life I’ve always been one of the strongest in my family. I’ve never been the one that everyone was waiting on. After Colter was born, I was never the baby. I’ve never been the weak link in the chain.

It was really hard for me. And that’s an understatement. I can’t even explain how hard it was for me. But there were plenty of times that I haven’t written about. There were times where I couldn’t breathe because I had been hiking for so long, trying to get to our campsite faster. There were times when I couldn’t physically carry the weight and I had to ask for help. There were times when I couldn’t keep going, and I had to sit down as soon as I could.

So yeah, I was the weak link. And it stunk. I hated it. But there was nothing I could do about it. The crazy thing is, I thought I was complaining a lot. Things like “I can’t keep going” and “I can’t carry this weight” and “I need to take a break”.

But when the trip was over, I got an email from one of my crewmates. And he/she said something that really made me think.

“You are literally the most positive person I’ve ever met, and ever since that trip I’ve been striving to have an attitude like yours and so far its paying off    : )”

I don’t know why he/she thought that. But I do know that he/she wasn’t the only one to say that. And it really has me confused. Because I complain a lot. I know I do. Ask my family or the friends who know me really well if you don’t believe me. So I don’t know how they can think that. I’m glad they do though!

We reached a clearing with two trails leading away from it, both going in the same direction. We had no idea which way to go. At this point in the course, Jen and Katie were backing off, letting us do as much as we could. So they didn’t answer when we asked them which way to go.

Everyone except me got together to figure out which way we were supposed to go. I was going to take advantage of the break that I hadn’t asked for.

Click here to read the next part of Day Nine.

*Everything here is from my own memory and may not be correct. Outward Bound is not responsible for anything I post here. Thanks too NCOBS for letting me use their photos.*